I've never connected the image with me.
There's a whole seperate person for the outside me, and her name is Margaux.
18 April 2008
FORGET ABOUT ME
There's nothing like a good time in the bath to cool your spirits. I find that waking to the sounds of beautiful things is a remedy fit for kings. I never looked at a bird the same way until after the day when my feelings went to waste. You know I'm sitting here now, eating cereal, but not a drop to drink? Seriously, there's nothing that can cool me but a big bowl of cereal.
The sleeping giant is in her den. I have to worry about spelling mistakes, because it's what I'm used to but regardless, I feel unuseful at these times. These sentences make no sense. Enewau, here I am typ8ing a way when amillion things are goin gong on elsewhere that I should be worrying about. Should, shoulds, shoulds. Just let yourself go. I need more of that, Excercise, freedom, prosperity withing endorphins. A chance to feel and noone else to hinder me. Songs talk about being tormented, hey they don't know toromented!
Do here I am and things are going splendidly, who can say that life is anything bu tthis? Worries worries and they fill my head like a sack of meal, killing every intention of good and right, illing my inner security like a landfill in a goldmine. Today we went and saw a comedy show, amazing amazing. I was so astounded by the feats of conversationalism deplayied by such brave souls, up there in their bravado, swinging away in their own way..
And yes, the years have done nothing to remedy angst, or have they? If growth can only be diaplayed in patterns (new patterns, that is) then what new patterns have I shown? Growth much be taught, implemented, shown to the hightest degree. One must teach oneself what it's like to be free. And until then, nothing else matters. But why do I sit with these material objects, fretting and fraying upon my worried beads, Maria Lola, stroking my lips and hoping for fire? Nothing will chage. Forget the parties. Forget the late nights. Find nature. Find yourself within the idea of a retreat, what you've htoght to be the solution for some time.
I've ofrgotten about importance for some time no,w, and vovcablylary dails me ath this moment in time but doesn't everything?
I will find a place to be free, and that's what few opeple realize. yo don't have to settle for what you have, in fact, settle for what you've got but ask for more. Be rutheless in realizations, and take what's yours, which is everything. You'll see what's in you faster than you can say "clink!" and tada, a new nobody, an evil somebody, a fresh everybody. You'll feel what it is to feel. Oh DAMN how I wan t yoga, how I want the pressure to ground me, to save me. How I want a mother's love, something that a mother might give and though I thank her for all her troubles I still find little in her sacrifices. THere is little to secede and wherever I find myself, there is that absence of preparedness that sill stain me until the end of time. Yet that nagging, that constant nagging, of "who will be worse?" My mother doesn't matter compared to other mothers.
Screw it, is all I can say, find the now, forget whoever takes your hand and just drop theirs, take a new pather unto the grave if anything, and make way for what is to come with a gimp and "ho!"
With zest, and make a point to be that special person, to give that love unto yourself with extra zest and to feel it wholley, to fee li it coprelely. because never again will yo ufeel what you feel, plain logic. Meditate. Don't get riled up in what I have, the emotions that stir. meditate and sleep, and don't worry about the rest. It makes me weep jus tto o think about. All the pressur eoto be a teenager, to be a hardcore badass poet on the move, fucking every girl she sees yadda yadda yadda. Forget that shit. You're old. You're an old soul. It' s just in the moment, you've got to make up for that in words and pretend you know what the fuck anyone's talking about, which means yes, yes, I'll go to the bank with you, I'll go on the road with you.. I want to watch "Almost Famous". It's getting late. I love Eva. She seems to be a friend, the only island in a complete sea of insanity tha tis the wandeirngs of the go.
\
GO AWAY, SCHOOL!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
The sleeping giant is in her den. I have to worry about spelling mistakes, because it's what I'm used to but regardless, I feel unuseful at these times. These sentences make no sense. Enewau, here I am typ8ing a way when amillion things are goin gong on elsewhere that I should be worrying about. Should, shoulds, shoulds. Just let yourself go. I need more of that, Excercise, freedom, prosperity withing endorphins. A chance to feel and noone else to hinder me. Songs talk about being tormented, hey they don't know toromented!
Do here I am and things are going splendidly, who can say that life is anything bu tthis? Worries worries and they fill my head like a sack of meal, killing every intention of good and right, illing my inner security like a landfill in a goldmine. Today we went and saw a comedy show, amazing amazing. I was so astounded by the feats of conversationalism deplayied by such brave souls, up there in their bravado, swinging away in their own way..
And yes, the years have done nothing to remedy angst, or have they? If growth can only be diaplayed in patterns (new patterns, that is) then what new patterns have I shown? Growth much be taught, implemented, shown to the hightest degree. One must teach oneself what it's like to be free. And until then, nothing else matters. But why do I sit with these material objects, fretting and fraying upon my worried beads, Maria Lola, stroking my lips and hoping for fire? Nothing will chage. Forget the parties. Forget the late nights. Find nature. Find yourself within the idea of a retreat, what you've htoght to be the solution for some time.
I've ofrgotten about importance for some time no,w, and vovcablylary dails me ath this moment in time but doesn't everything?
I will find a place to be free, and that's what few opeple realize. yo don't have to settle for what you have, in fact, settle for what you've got but ask for more. Be rutheless in realizations, and take what's yours, which is everything. You'll see what's in you faster than you can say "clink!" and tada, a new nobody, an evil somebody, a fresh everybody. You'll feel what it is to feel. Oh DAMN how I wan t yoga, how I want the pressure to ground me, to save me. How I want a mother's love, something that a mother might give and though I thank her for all her troubles I still find little in her sacrifices. THere is little to secede and wherever I find myself, there is that absence of preparedness that sill stain me until the end of time. Yet that nagging, that constant nagging, of "who will be worse?" My mother doesn't matter compared to other mothers.
Screw it, is all I can say, find the now, forget whoever takes your hand and just drop theirs, take a new pather unto the grave if anything, and make way for what is to come with a gimp and "ho!"
With zest, and make a point to be that special person, to give that love unto yourself with extra zest and to feel it wholley, to fee li it coprelely. because never again will yo ufeel what you feel, plain logic. Meditate. Don't get riled up in what I have, the emotions that stir. meditate and sleep, and don't worry about the rest. It makes me weep jus tto o think about. All the pressur eoto be a teenager, to be a hardcore badass poet on the move, fucking every girl she sees yadda yadda yadda. Forget that shit. You're old. You're an old soul. It' s just in the moment, you've got to make up for that in words and pretend you know what the fuck anyone's talking about, which means yes, yes, I'll go to the bank with you, I'll go on the road with you.. I want to watch "Almost Famous". It's getting late. I love Eva. She seems to be a friend, the only island in a complete sea of insanity tha tis the wandeirngs of the go.
\
GO AWAY, SCHOOL!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
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