I feel a sickening surprise, in small constant waves.


The shock of losing my work, the total writings of 2006-2008. All my writing is gone, because the online journal :greatestjournal" pulled the plug, fully.

flood

Emotional flooding. I am flooding right now. I'm feeling the emotions well up in me. I am feeling angry, sad, confused, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry. I am feeling surprised, as if someone attacked me and I'm fighting back-- or at least prepared to. I am feeling sad, also, very sad, but happy in the core of me. I know there are brighter futures to be had. There are swaying palms, singing the horizon. There are winds and skies, farms and pies. There are travels to be had. I know that through all this I can come out a better man. I am feeling better now. calmer.

It's resiliency's parts, becoming yours. My brain cells, inside their walls, are made of red warm jelly. Gratification, my gratification. Feed me more. You are kind.




"They love the arts, so they're poor."

:)

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.
- Robertson Davies