Norweigan bark

Om Namah Shivaya

:)

:o

:I

:(

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LOEDLAW

Today was such a giftful day! My L&T teacher gave us several gifts:  First, even though we have to go to a mandatory open mic reading, she arranged it to be in the art building and is chipping in to buy us ice cream!  Second, she gave me something I'd wished for:  an extension on the 10-page paper!  I've only written three pages and it was going to be due tomorrow, but she's letting us turn in the revision on Monday!!! Third--and this is the topper--we get the morning off, so we can SLEEP IN!  And when we do come to class, we're going to read MLK, Jr.'s "Letter from a Burmingham Jail."

Monday's devoted to talking about "Docile Bodies" (boring) and meeting about essays.  So from here on, it should be fine!  I'm sooooooo relieved.  I woke up feeling angry for repeated sleep deprivation and current menstruation.

I just got another gift.  I had walked back home from class in the heat, wearing boots.  My friend Annie wanted to meet me at the computer lab, but I couldn't face another long walk.  Instead of trudging, I thought, "Why don't I bike there?"  I asked Kat if I could use her bike.  She said yes.  I couldn't find Annie at either of the computer labs, but that gave me an excuse to ride to the north reaches of campus.  I haven't ridden a bike in a month.  The movement in my lungs and the breeze in my face, the speed of going down hills--all of that was fucking blissful.  :)

My first tears of college have to be over a paper.  Of course.
NO
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I just remembered the feeling of loving him.  Something deep is still there.  Like a pod. A seed.  A bean.  Not even tangible..even though we weren't working on a friendship level or committing level, I got something from him no one else has ever given me.  It's insane.

I miss him.  That's all there is to it.